ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPH AND TITLE

THIS PROFILE PICTURE IS A PAINTING BY SAMUEL BAK. THE TITLE IS "INTERRUPTION". THIS BLOG IS ABOUT CHILDHOOD ABUSE, THE DESTRUCTION IT CAUSES AND HOW I FEEL A CONNECTION TO HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS.

Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Smash365: Statement: An attempt to answer two comments from ‘Anonymous’ on my writing ‘Perfection’.


The reason one writes isn’t the fact he wants to say something. He writes because he has something to say. ~F. Scott Fitzgerald



Step on your soapbox and write about what is on your mind. Make a statement in your writing about anything that is residing within you. The end of a 4-day holiday weekend? Black Friday shopping? The space between holidays and the coming new year?

Make a statement without judgment. Give yourself the platform you need to shout it out on paper for ten minutes.

Where did writing take you today?
 Picture:  Dante:  Angels

My thoughts:



When I opened my email today, I had this prompt and two comments from ‘anonymous’ on my article titled ‘Perfection’.



This is my human attempt to answer the two following comments:

1)

Nico,
I saw your posting on Let Go Let Peace Come In. I am deeply disturbed by Penn State scandal and feel that I must do something. I am a mother of two boys and work full time but there must be something I can do... Any ideas?



2)

Nico,
One more question... I am having a hard time with the fact that g-d would allow innocent children get raped over and over again... I am losing my faith. How do you forgive g-d for allowing all that happened to you to take place?


My Answer:

The first answer that comes to mind for question one is vigilance.  If you see or suspect any type of abuse, whether it is with a child or an adult do not be afraid to report it.  When people do nothing evil blooms.  Do not assume that someone else will take a stand against abuse.  Never make that assumption.  Take action by reporting it.  You have nothing to lose, but whoever might be the victim of abuse has their Soul to lose…because abuse murders the Soul.  If you do not have time or the ability to volunteer, you might donate money to a shelter or home.  You could write letters to your Senators and Congressman to help change laws.

To answer your second question, I must take the liberty to express MY PERSONAL BELIEFS about g-d.  By no means am I trying to change or challenge your beliefs or convince you of anything different than what you believe. 

I do not believe that g-d ‘allows innocent children to get raped’.  I do not believe in a punishing g-d.  We are the ones who forget g-d, not the other way around.  Humans have free will.  Humans have choice to do good or evil.  It is humankind hurting each other.  I do not feel any need to forgive g-d.  The direction my forgiveness has to take is towards my abusers.  They are the ones who inflicted the pain and anguish I endured as a child.  They are the reasons I chose to live in the suffering and anguish I experienced as an adult.  Yes, you heard me correctly.  I chose to continue my suffering as an adult.  No, I did not realize I was choosing.  I felt helpless and hopeless.  Just as when I was a child, as an adult I saw no way out.  I felt trapped and imprisoned.  I could not let go of the pain.  I had no hope.  I was disillusioned with g-d, but did not blame g-d.

It has been a long journey to heal my Soul back to life.  But now I feel the winds have turned and I am moving forward.  Yes, I still have difficult times.  However, the darkness now goes away after I feel the pain.  Until recently I lived in continual darkness.  That has been my path and I have accepted it.  It has led me to become the person I am today.  I have no regrets.

It was not until I realized that other choices were available to me, and I felt empowered that I began to make my own decisions on how I wanted to live; that I began to take control of my life.  The abuse was not from g-d, it was from humans.  Humans are weak.  Our ego controls our actions.  WE HAVE TO LET GO OF OUR EGO and find our HIGHER SELF to reconnect with g-d.  Healing is about forgiveness, love and learning to connect…because as a victim/survivor we do not trust enough to connect on a Soul level to others.  Without connections we shrivel up and die not only emotionally, but spiritually.  With connections we THRIVE.  With connections we can begin to forgive, take in the painful lessons our past has taught us, and use them to help others. 

Hope never dies.  Never give up.  To give up is to allow the abusers victory.  There are no winners in these situations.  So we learn to live our life to the fullest and try to make a difference whenever we can.  Hopefully, once we heal, our suffering will have taught us compassion for others; made us more loving people; and make us realize that g-d was with us through it all.

I hope you will not lose faith.  If at all possible connect to g-d.  That is the beginning of our Soul and that is where healing begins.  You are not alone.

Peace,

Nico

Friday, November 18, 2011

Smash 365: PERFECTION

We keep searching for perfection, and in our search we find that everything in the universe is perfect except the humans. The sun is perfect, the stars are perfect, the planets are perfect, but when it comes to the humans, “Nobody’s perfect.” The truth is that everything in creation is perfect, including the humans. ~Don Miguel Ruiz, The Fifth Agreement



What stops us from seeing ourselves as perfect? Redefine “perfect” for humans and make a list of the things that make you perfect.



My Thoughts:

In one word, EGO stops us from seeing ourselves as perfect.  ‘Perfect’ does not mean conceited or arrogant.  ‘Perfect’ to me means living in a state of openness and love, tethered to our Creator.  When we live in the state of ego, we depend on our attachment to others as the reflection of our selves.  This, I believe is a hurtful way to see ourselves because how others see us comes from their reality and their ego.  Depending on our attachment’s moods and whims, one day they may see us as good; the next they may see us as causing pain.  So while we are affirmed with love one day, we are suffering and in pain the next.   But in reality, we all cause our own drama.  The responsibility for our life is within us.

 I am not speaking of a child because children are born innocent.  Children have to rely on their caregivers to protect them and nurture them.  But as adults we must take responsibility for our actions and strive to let our ego die.  The Creator is calling our Soul.  Our Soul longs for a reunion to the Creator.  When we refuse the call, we become frozen in our ego.  I am not speaking of physical death.  It is a spiritual death and rebirth while we are here on the Earth.

The thing that makes me ‘perfect’ is my belief that I originate from the Creator and I am a part of the Creator.  Because of this, I am a part of the Universe which lives in the Creator.  I am in a continuous search for my Soul.  But I do realize that ‘perfection’ can be fleeting.  I am also still human; therefore the ego will be with me until the end.  The trick is to learn to live as the Self because the Self is your Soul, the Soul is love, and love comes from our connection to the Creator.

Peace,
Nico