http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7TlwAu0KTXU

I love this song.  I love Ireland and hope to go to my ancestral home one day!
Hope everyone has a wonderful day!  Take care.

Peace,
Nico

Anastasia...a part of my soul

Anastasia's Eyes, by Dan Fogelberg

Personal Recipe by Harley Schreiber #Trust30 (Day 27)

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”

To be Me and not to be me, that is the answer.  

Tomorrow, much less in five years, I do not want to be the same ‘me’; I do not want to have lived in the stagnant waters of non-growth.   Each day life presents us with so many possibilities.  I just need to learn to take my blinders off, recognize what is being offered, and run my race as if it were the last.  However, I will race true to form, following my core beliefs.  By doing this I will not cause  major ripples in the waters of life, where we all reside.

I want to feel Alive, Aware and Awake; the “AAA”, no not the wrecker/travel service.  If, and when I ‘break down’, I do not want to be towed to a repair shop.  I need to be able to look inside, run my own diagnostics, find the problem, and repair what has been broken.  If I need help, I will ask.  I am not that close-minded to think that others cannot help.  But, first I will turn to Me.

I do not want to be given a pre-determined route to my destination.  Yes, I need a map.  But, PLEASE spare me the highlighted route!  I will create my own.  If I am travelling on the main highway and decide to exit onto the scenic route, or even the uncharted, unmapped route—of what concern is it to anyone else.  If I get lost, once again I will first turn to Me.  My GPS signal will always be on, just in case I need to be found in an emergency.  I am getting older and health can give us surprises.

For the most part, I am a loner.  I would like for this to change.   I have no need to bask in the glory of others.  Glory is an unstable, ‘glittery’ pedestal on which to perch.  It is fleeting.   I do not need to see my reflection in the eyes of others.  I want to develop friendships that are mutual, having similar visions, travelling on similar paths.  I believe we all need connections. 

Hopefully, if I can fashion my life from this ‘Me’, there will be no need to purge regrets; there will be no hunger from ‘dieting’ in life.  The me will no longer need to bleed, because she will be transformed into Me.

This is my ‘thought’ and my ‘seed of action’.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OrWX5Bs0cSA&feature=fvst

Thistle and Weeds by Mumford and Sons

"Plant your hope with good seeds.  Don’t cover yourself with thistle and weeds.

Rain down, rain down on Me."

P.S.  "Ohio Impromptu" is a very good read!!

PEACE!

Alternative Paths (Day 14) #Trust30 by Jonathan Fields

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name; the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The world buzzes about goals and visions. Focus. Create a vivid picture of exactly where you want to go. Dream big, and then don’t let anything or anyone stop you. The problem, as Daniel Gilbert wrote in Stumbling Upon Happiness, is that we’re horrible at forecasting how we’ll really feel 10 or 20 years from now – once we’ve gotten what we dreamed of. Often, we get there only to say, “That’s not what I thought it would be,” and ask, “What now?” Ambition is good. Blind ambition is not. It blocks out not only distraction, but the many opportunities that might take you off course but that may also lead you in a new direction. Consistent daily action is only a virtue when bundled with a willingness to remain open to the unknown. In this exercise, look at your current quest and ask, “What alternative opportunities, interpretations and paths am I not seeing?” They’re always there, but you’ve got to choose to see them.

This is going to be a brutal post for me. 

Over the years, I think I lost the capability to “dream big”.  To be perfectly honest, I lost the ability to dream (period).  Most of my life, since I was very young, I have felt alone, an outcast, lost, and without dreams or goals.  Looking back it seems sad but true, that there was no vision in my mind’s eye.  I took no control of the direction my life went or continued to go.  I left myself at the whims of whatever my family of origin expected of me.  At 17, I forged my driver’s license, ‘ran away’ and married an abusive man.  I was there for about three years.  Then I became a puppet for my current significant other and child.  All of these years it seems EVERYONE ELSE was choosing for me.   I have been asleep at the wheel! (I tend to use this statement quite often!)  Even worse, I never felt ‘life in myself’.  You may not understand this or think I am exaggerating, but I am being totally honest when I say:  I HAVE FELT DEAD INSIDE FOR MOST OF MY LIFE.  Please do not think that I am asking for sympathy.  This is not the purpose of this post. 

Ironically, the best thing that has ever happened to me was when I totally fell apart and was hospitalized for nine months.  This catalyst forcibly put me on a new path, a new journey.  As excruciatingly painful as this has been for over 20 years, nothing in this world could ever make me regret or wish to change anything I have been through. 

“The risk it takes to remain tight inside the bud is more painful than the risk it takes to blossom."  Anais Nin 

I have only recently begun the risk ‘to blossom’.  I would say it has probably been only within the last six months.  So I am absolutely certain that there are many ‘alternative opportunities, interpretations, and paths’ that I have only begun to explore and have not seen yet.  They have always been there.  At last, I have finally chosen to see them.  “When the student is ready, the teacher will appear”—Buddhist Proverb.  I never understood this until life presented me with my current ‘teacher’, i.e. therapist.  And bringing this further into awareness, has been the choice I made to take the #Trust30 challenge.  I never knew there were so many people on their own journeys.  Let’s face it, I never knew many things.  But, finally, I am ‘Stumbling Upon’ awareness.  I am awakening my soul.  To all who are becoming parts of this journey, thank you for your support.  To God, Creator, Source, Higher Power and any other name I have omitted, my immense gratitude.  To myself, I say, ‘Ever On’. (a song by Dan Fogelberg)  If you would like to hear this song you can find it HERE.

PEACE.

Martina McBride--Concrete Angel--STOP THE ABUSE OF CHILDREN

21 Guns

Did someone break your heart inside...

Nothing's ever meant to last...

You're in ruins....