ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPH AND TITLE

THIS PROFILE PICTURE IS A PAINTING BY SAMUEL BAK. THE TITLE IS "INTERRUPTION". THIS BLOG IS ABOUT CHILDHOOD ABUSE, THE DESTRUCTION IT CAUSES AND HOW I FEEL A CONNECTION TO HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

No I am Not CRAZY

Many people do not believe in D.I.D. (Dissociative Identity Disorder formerly called Multiple Personality Disorder).  For me that does not matter, because I have lived with it everyday since as far back as I can remember.  And, that my friend is very far.  So, I know it is real.  It is a disorder driven by extreme emotional pain.   It usually originates in childhood.  The cause is severe trauma.  If you are interested in learning what it is like to live in this state you can follow this blog.  If you are someone who has D.I.D. please be careful and take care that nothing "triggers" you.  I know how it can be.  You are sitting there reading something and then before you realize it, a "flashback" occurs and you are back in another time, another place where the experience you are feeling is real, in this moment, happening now.

We were first diagnosed in 1989.  It was a shock to the "host" personality.  She was not aware of any of us.  Actually, I suppose it was a shock to all of us.  Everything we went through--losing time, misplacing things, finding clothes in the closet that "we" did not buy, not remembering if we ate, where we parked the car, where we were driving to, getting lost on trips--the list goes on.  But, I think you get the point.  Life was and sometimes still is utter chaos.  Even the simplest decision can be impossible to make.  The most important thing about D.I.D. is keeping it secret, especially from doctors.  Most doctors just think you are "crazy".  Once it is in your file...beware.  No one will take you seriously if you have a physical problem.  That is what happened to me.  To be continued...

1 comment:

  1. Welcome to my nightmare..as I try to find humor...
    I believe we are on a similar journey..Did you know you have to very intelligent and creative to have DIDI? I look forward to connecting with you..as always...XOXOXO

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