Another day another dollar...really who cares? Not me. Although I realize we have to have money to stay alive. But, I do not really care to be alive…to fight the good fight. BLAH, BLAH, BLAH. I wake up before sunrise with tears filling my eyes. What is the problem? How do you wake up with tears? Is it those night terrors making me feel like I cannot breathe; I cannot move; I am paralyzed, suffocating, and dying? I do not know. I am just finding it very hard to keep myself going…going to where? NO WHERE. I am stuck…that is putting it mildly. I am cemented in this life of confusion. I have been chiseling away to no avail. My tears and my pain have been my chisel. Look at the picture...Tears falling from stone. That is how I feel; stone cold, yet crying to break free. I am tired of trying to break free. What is the use? Yeah…I know, for me. Which me?
“I grieve, and dare not show my discontent;
I love, and yet am forced to seem to hate;
I do not dare to say I never meant,
I seem stark mute, but inwardly I prate,
I am, and am not; I freeze and yet am burn’d,
Since from myself my other self I turned.”