ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPH AND TITLE

THIS PROFILE PICTURE IS A PAINTING BY SAMUEL BAK. THE TITLE IS "INTERRUPTION". THIS BLOG IS ABOUT CHILDHOOD ABUSE, THE DESTRUCTION IT CAUSES AND HOW I FEEL A CONNECTION TO HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS.

Friday, May 6, 2011

I HATE YOU BUT I NEED YOU BUT I HATE YOU


JUST STOP IT.  ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS RUN ME OVER.
Why can’t I trust you?  You make no effort to help me.  You just sit there and talk and talk and talk and I don’t even know what the hell you are talking about….surely you know this for a fact.  Do I know ‘IVVY’?  Do I even care?  You won’t help me reach my other parts.  You won’t tell me that you care.  You won’t do anything to help me feel.  I hate therapy.  I hate therapists. I hate you.   You all suck.  Too many mind benders and head games…is that all you learned after so many years in school…All your little certificates hanging in your office.  What does that mean to me?  NADA, NOTHING, ZIP, Bull crap…artificial bait.  You are all the same.  Why can’t you see how much I need your help?  You know that I am hurting.  I can see it in your eyes.  What do you do…ignore me, pretend I do not exist, but I am here…I know you realize I am here and yet you do NOTHING.  ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.   You are making me lose my mind.  Oh no, I forget, I am the one making me lose my mind.  I am the one that needs to reach out for your friendship.  NO THANK YOU.  KISS IT.   NEVER, EVER, FOR AS LONG AS I LIVE will I ever reach out to anyone else.  DO NOT HOLD YOUR BREATH.  IT IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.   You talk about the little ones and you do nothing.  Just stay away from me.  Leave me alone.  I want nothing from you.  I need nothing from you.  You are a jerk.  You are like everyone else in my life.  You make me sick…literally; I could vomit just thinking about you.

Photo from honourandhate.e-monsite.com


3 comments:

  1. Just a little anger...but it is good to express your anger. DUDE...I LOVE THAT PICTURE!!!

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  2. OMGGGGGGGGGG you're in my head....I feel all of this...I feel like we are livin in the same nightmare....I'm here anytime.....As always...XOXOXO

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  3. Clear expression of anger! I've felt like this also about therapists. take care

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