ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPH AND TITLE

THIS PROFILE PICTURE IS A PAINTING BY SAMUEL BAK. THE TITLE IS "INTERRUPTION". THIS BLOG IS ABOUT CHILDHOOD ABUSE, THE DESTRUCTION IT CAUSES AND HOW I FEEL A CONNECTION TO HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS.

Wednesday, April 6, 2011

Email/fear/relief

I saw your email.  It made me cry.  Yeah, a wimp as usual.  'wimpy, wimpy, wimpy....hefty, hefty, hefty'.  We have both.  The hefty lion and the wimpy little lamb.  One moment I am the lion the next I am less than a lamb.  I am still seventeen, going on ????  I am not even sure.  I would have to do the math.  All kidding aside, I was so glad to see your name pop up when we pressed the dreaded Send/Receive button.  But, then in crept the fear.  'ART'.  Yes, indeed, it is still hovering over us like the clouds in the sky.  There are times I want to go back for your help.  Then 'ART' comes along and rears its ugly head.  It can still be a paralyzing emotion.  It can keep me from doing what needs to be done.  So abandonment, rejection and trust still rule my world.  It ROCKS!!  (you need to change the first two letters of this word to get the real meaning...this one goes in the 'code' book along with 'fine')

At last we come to relief.  I am relieved you are not so angry with us that you do not totally ignore us.  I am relieved to hear that you are well.  I am relieved to know you still think of us.  I am relieved.  So, thank you very much for responding to her email.  I can assure you it meant a lot to those members of which I am aware.  I do miss you very much.
"R"

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