Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Insomnia Strikes Again
I cannot sleep. My mind is racing. Thoughts that I do not want keep intruding, INTERRUPTING. Please go away and leave me alone. Will I ever know peace? Will I ever know normal, whatever 'normal' is? There is no one out there to whom I can talk, no one who can understand. The more I hold things back, the more they permeate my thoughts. But, I cannot go through the pain again, not right now, not tonight. I feel I will not return, I will never come back from its darkness. What will happen to me if I cry? Where will the tears fall? They will fall upon deaf ears, just as these words fall upon this empty page. What happened to "The Voice"? Where did it go? It was my fortress; it was my strength. Now it is just an echo, slipping farther and farther from my grasp. Is it possible to 'grasp' a voice? It was not really 'The Voice' that gave me the connection...it was the soul. It was the essence of human kindness, the unexpected gift of the heart that helped me soar. And now it is just the echo...it is not really here. It is slipping away through the mountains and the valleys, until one day it will no longer be heard.