GROUPS, W T H

So, I am trying to keep this blog 'clean', free from 'cuss' words.  LA TE DA!!  The title is not what I wanted to go with.  Instead of 'wth', I wanted to use the ef word.  But hey, far be it from me to ef up this precious blog.  It is not really my blog, but I am allowed to use it under the rules of a certain dictator in my system.  All joking aside, why are we going to this group?  I have no idea.  N our therapists thinks it is a great idea.  But then what the ef does she know???  Not much.  ef ef ef.  I do not think she realizes what condition we come home in after sitting there, like a freak, thinking who the heck are these people and what do I have in common with them.  But that is the problem...I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IN COMMON WITH THEM.  If they only knew me, they would run and hide.  Obviously, some one else wants to be in the group.  If this is true then why don't they show up and STAY THERE instead of running away and hiding. 

I feel so angry.  Me and anger don't do too great.  I have to make it stop by hurting myself.  It is the only proven remedy.  I thought maybe if I wrote about being angry it would help.  Honestly, it just makes me more angry.  N is out of town AGAIN and I have no one to talk to or to call or anything special like that...not that I want to anyhow. 

Life is a beach and you best not step out too far in the water...because, the undertow will pull you under and take you out to sea, leaving you floundering until you effing drown.  So there, put that in your pipe and smoke it.

DEV