#trust30 30 day challenge
Life wastes itself while we are preparing to live. – Ralph Waldo Emerson
If you had one week left to live, would you still be doing what you’re doing now? In what areas of your life are you preparing to live? Take them off your To Do list and add them to a To Stop list. Resolve to only do what makes you come alive.
Bonus: How can your goals improve the present and not keep you in a perpetual “always something better” spiral?
If I had one week left to live I do not think I would be doing what I am presently doing. I am doing nothing with my life. I am “stuck”. The one thing I know I would HAVE to do is see a person from my past that I “lost”. I have never recovered from this loss.
I guess I am trying to prepare to live in all areas of my life. Since 1989, when I had a mental breakdown and was in a psychiatric hospital for nine months, I have felt dead inside. I have been in and out of hospitals and in therapy since that time. I suppose my therapy is keeping me alive, even though overall it has been a roller coaster ride in and of itself.
I think the only thing that will ever make me come alive is to find out ‘who’ I am; who I am without the past and the abuse controlling my thoughts and my actions. I need to find the courage to LIVE my life, because right now I am in “limbo”. I just exist in a bubble. Any second the bubble could be gone, and my life would have been lived for nothing. I need to break free of my self-imposed prison. I need to find a purpose. I only have ONE true friend. I am going to find other friends, even if they are not friends in which I confide. I have found some fellow bloggers and that has helped tremendously. There are many levels of friendship. But, I need people I can be around that will accept me for who I am; accept the way I want to look and act. I cannot put on a pretense. I have to be real.
THE MAIN THING I WANT TO STOP:
LIVING LIKE THE PAST IS THE PRESENT.