Wholly Strange and New (Day 16) #Trust30 by Bridget Pilloud

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

 

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.

  

MY RESPONSE:

This is the moment that has become ‘wholly strange and new’, that I have ‘life in’ myself.  These last few weeks and months, I have begun to remove ‘the mask’ which has hidden my true Self from me and the rest of the world for all my life.  I am afraid of this moment.  Sometimes it feels overwhelming.  There are times when I wonder if I have the inner strength to create my own journey.

I am allowing all of my ‘parts’ to have a voice.  I am releasing them from captivity; from the prison of their childhood.  They, we have been prisoners of pain and abuse.  We have been chained to an ugly past, but it is time to break free.   All of these years I have been walking behind my shadow.  This path was created by those people in my life that inflicted their ugliness and brutality upon my spirit.  It stunted my growth.  I let it.  But, while I take responsibility for allowing it to control my life for so many years, I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE BLAME; IT IS NOT MY SHAME.  My innocence was stolen at a very early age. As a child, I was not allowed to create myself in ways that emanated from my soul.  I was made to be subservient.  It was better to ‘be seen and not heard’, so my voice was quieted.  I lived in silence.

But, this is not my truth any longer.  I have opened my eyes to the deceit I have been living.  I have come to the proverbial fork in the road.  I am choosing to take “the road less travelled”.  While I do not have a clear vision of what my path will be, I know some things it WILL NOT BE. 

I will not accept abuse.

I refuse to accept conformity. 

I will not blend with the masses. 

No longer will anyone create my path for me.

If you cannot be tolerant of others, you will not be on this journey with me.

If you live in anger, then you best learn to express it appropriately.

If you refuse to work on creating your path, you will not be with me.

There is no room for disrespect.

I am unsure of what I want from this journey other than peace of mind and growth toward the Source.  By deciding what I do not want and cannot accept, then I feel sure the rest will follow.

Of one thing I am certain, this path will most likely be built one brick at a time.  I am sure there will be days filled with weariness; I will become tired.  On those days I will rest and find things and people that will rejuvenate my soul.  This will give me the strength to forge onward. 

This is my beginning.