Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Wholly Strange and New (Day 16) #Trust30 by Bridget Pilloud

When good is near you, when you have life in yourself, it is not by any known or accustomed way; you shall not discern the foot-prints of any other; you shall not see the face of man; you shall not hear any name;—— the way, the thought, the good, shall be wholly strange and new. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Can you remember a moment in your life when you had life in yourself and it was wholly strange and new? Can you remember the moment when you stopped walking a path of someone else, and started cutting your own?

Write about that moment. And if you haven’t experienced it yet, let the miracle play out in your mind’s eye and write about that moment in your future.



This is the moment that has become ‘wholly strange and new’, that I have ‘life in’ myself.  These last few weeks and months, I have begun to remove ‘the mask’ which has hidden my true Self from me and the rest of the world for all my life.  I am afraid of this moment.  Sometimes it feels overwhelming.  There are times when I wonder if I have the inner strength to create my own journey.

I am allowing all of my ‘parts’ to have a voice.  I am releasing them from captivity; from the prison of their childhood.  They, we have been prisoners of pain and abuse.  We have been chained to an ugly past, but it is time to break free.   All of these years I have been walking behind my shadow.  This path was created by those people in my life that inflicted their ugliness and brutality upon my spirit.  It stunted my growth.  I let it.  But, while I take responsibility for allowing it to control my life for so many years, I WILL NOT ACCEPT THE BLAME; IT IS NOT MY SHAME.  My innocence was stolen at a very early age. As a child, I was not allowed to create myself in ways that emanated from my soul.  I was made to be subservient.  It was better to ‘be seen and not heard’, so my voice was quieted.  I lived in silence.

But, this is not my truth any longer.  I have opened my eyes to the deceit I have been living.  I have come to the proverbial fork in the road.  I am choosing to take “the road less travelled”.  While I do not have a clear vision of what my path will be, I know some things it WILL NOT BE. 

I will not accept abuse.

I refuse to accept conformity. 

I will not blend with the masses. 

No longer will anyone create my path for me.

If you cannot be tolerant of others, you will not be on this journey with me.

If you live in anger, then you best learn to express it appropriately.

If you refuse to work on creating your path, you will not be with me.

There is no room for disrespect.

I am unsure of what I want from this journey other than peace of mind and growth toward the Source.  By deciding what I do not want and cannot accept, then I feel sure the rest will follow.

Of one thing I am certain, this path will most likely be built one brick at a time.  I am sure there will be days filled with weariness; I will become tired.  On those days I will rest and find things and people that will rejuvenate my soul.  This will give me the strength to forge onward. 

This is my beginning. 


  1. Dear Nico, I LOVE YOUR BEGINNING! I am moved to tears of joy that your soul's bud is finally feeling the warmth of the light of life. I would very much hope to be one those you feel you can confide in when you feel weary and heavy. But also when you rejoice in that fact that you are alive and kicking on your terms, unconstrained and uncompromised.
    Love it, Love it, Love it!

    Heaps of love coming your way!
    xoxo, Michi

  2. Michi, thank you so much for your comment. You are certainly someone I would enjoy having on this journey with me. I admire your wisdom and your knowledge. I love your comments which include symbolism and archetypal comparisons. I have always wanted to learn more about those things. I used to take classes at the Jung Center near here. I should begin again. I think it is W.B. Yeats thought that we are only happy when we are growing.(don't quote me on that!!) But, I do have this wonderful craving to grow! Please take care. ((HUGS))
    Peace, Nico

  3. Hi nico,

    I was searching for inspiration to seek my answer 'wholly strange and new' and chanced upon your response. I'd just like to say that even though i probably live worlds away from you, i can feel your conviction to break free of the past.

    I can imagine how that feels; while i might not have gone through the pain that you have experienced, i share that same urge to get rid of my past and work towards being myself again.

    I wish you all the hope and faith in the world, and i believe you will achieve what you set out to do.

    Be remarkable.

  4. Steel, once gone through the fire and tempered, becomes amazingly strong. Once through the fire and discovering that we are still here, still alive, our tempering begins.
    Nico, welcome to your knowing of what lies within, a strength that never dies.
    Let it shine forth for all the world to see.
    More important, let it shine forth for you to feel and enjoy.

  5. I am extremely proud of you for wanting to remove the mask. The road to travel is scary, sometimes lonely, and sometimes slow. But, at least you are doing it. You are stronger than you give yourself credit for. We all are. Those of us who have suffered abuse by the hands of another, we are stronger than that. We will not be ashamed and we will not let anyone control us or make us feel as if things are our fault. You just keep walking that path, even if it takes you one brick at a time. Life is a journey for everyone, ours is just a little different. We have some different bumps in the road. Keep pushing forward. I have seen so much progress in the last few months.

  6. Brilliant Nico,

    I believe that everything - good, bad, or otherwise - is designed to work for our benefit (provided we choose to let it). You have clearly extracted that benefit and claimed victory over your adversity.

    You post totally inspired me. Thank you.

  7. hey Nico
    It feels so good to see u fighting back and responding in a positive way to those scumbags who are not worth calling "human beings".

    This post is very very inspiring. Everyone can learn from this.

    Fantastic post once again !!!

  8. I lived in Texas USA for 3 years. There they say; "If it doesn't kill you, it makes you stronger." Your share of misery made you a very powerful and strong lady.

    Read several of your posts and see you growing in each one of them. What's also great to see is you taking down your mask word by word. The courage to do that is tremendous. You carry that courage in you as well.

    Keep growing; stronger and more beautiful then you already were.

  9. I just want to thank each and every one of you for your support and encouragement. It has helped me tremendously. I am not sure you can even imagine!!
    Thank you!