Courage to Connect by David Spinks #Trust30 (Day 23)

Men imagine that they communicate their virtue or vice only by overt actions, and do not see that virtue or vice emit a breath every moment. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

Who is one person that you’ve been dying to connect with, but just haven’t had the courage to reach out to? First, reflect on why you want to get in touch with them. Then, reach out and set up a meeting.

Honestly, I have been ‘dying to connect’ with my Self because I can no longer live in ‘disconnection’.  I mean this literally, not figuratively.  My soul has been slowly dying since the day of my birth, which should have been the beginning of its creation.  I cannot and refuse to take responsibility for the things in my childhood that caused this ‘death’ to begin.  However, as an adult, I continued in this state.  I have realized over the years that it was a ‘choice-less’ choice, albeit a choice.  I have no fear of admitting when I am wrong; THIS CHOICE WAS DESTRUCTIVE.  Overtly my false self showed the world that everything was fine.  I was happy and content.  But the COVERT ‘BREATH’ my soul was emitting hurt not only me, but my daughter, and the relationships I had with several people over the years.    It was not necessarily my actions that were destructive, but my inactions.  I refused to see.  I refused to be aware.

As I consider my past and all which it entails, I can see how I lived my life in a continual state of ‘death’.  I cannot change the past.  But, I will continue to direct the future into a more ‘alive’ state.  In group yesterday, the counselor asked me if I realized the courage I had by continuing to survive and overcome the many obstacles that stunted my growth (not an exact quote, but close enough).   I pointed out that ‘surviving’ is not THRIVING.  People always want to praise you for surviving.  This I feel is missing the point.  Survival is a basic technique.  Thriving is what gives your soul life; it is what allows your ‘Self’ to awaken into awareness.  You cannot and will not thrive unless you ‘do the work’. 

 

What work?  Most of you reading this are already aware of that answer.   It is my humble opinion that everyone has their own work to do and their own way of doing it.  For me, understanding and acceptance is the key to change.    The negativity we feel is ours alone.  It is inside of us.  It is not caused by others actions or words.  Once you can accept this fact, your own actions and choices in life will no longer be dictated by others.  You will become the dictator of your life.  You will be yourself and not worry about the opinions of others.  You will learn to protect yourself from manipulations.  You will be free and allow others the same freedom.  No demands or expectations for others to fulfill your needs will be in your mind.  You will become your own creator…no puppeteers, no puppets. 

With this in mind…think about the ‘breath’ we can all emit, both overtly and covertly.  Imagine taking in the first breath of your ‘Self’.  The fragrance will overwhelm your senses with joy, beauty and peace.