ABOUT THE PHOTOGRAPH AND TITLE

THIS PROFILE PICTURE IS A PAINTING BY SAMUEL BAK. THE TITLE IS "INTERRUPTION". THIS BLOG IS ABOUT CHILDHOOD ABUSE, THE DESTRUCTION IT CAUSES AND HOW I FEEL A CONNECTION TO HOLOCAUST SURVIVORS.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

Personal Recipe by Harley Schreiber #Trust30 (Day 27)

I do not wish to expiate, but to live. My life is for itself and not for a spectacle. I much prefer that it should be of a lower strain, so it be genuine and equal, than that it should be glittering and unsteady. I wish it to be sound and sweet, and not to need diet and bleeding. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

 Think about the type of person you’d NEVER want to be 5 years from now. Write out your own personal recipe to prevent this from happening and commit to following it. “Thought is the seed of action.”

To be Me and not to be me, that is the answer.  

Tomorrow, much less in five years, I do not want to be the same ‘me’; I do not want to have lived in the stagnant waters of non-growth.   Each day life presents us with so many possibilities.  I just need to learn to take my blinders off, recognize what is being offered, and run my race as if it were the last.  However, I will race true to form, following my core beliefs.  By doing this I will not cause  major ripples in the waters of life, where we all reside.


I want to feel Alive, Aware and Awake; the “AAA”, no not the wrecker/travel service.  If, and when I ‘break down’, I do not want to be towed to a repair shop.  I need to be able to look inside, run my own diagnostics, find the problem, and repair what has been broken.  If I need help, I will ask.  I am not that close-minded to think that others cannot help.  But, first I will turn to Me.


I do not want to be given a pre-determined route to my destination.  Yes, I need a map.  But, PLEASE spare me the highlighted route!  I will create my own.  If I am travelling on the main highway and decide to exit onto the scenic route, or even the uncharted, unmapped route—of what concern is it to anyone else.  If I get lost, once again I will first turn to Me.  My GPS signal will always be on, just in case I need to be found in an emergency.  I am getting older and health can give us surprises.


For the most part, I am a loner.  I would like for this to change.   I have no need to bask in the glory of others.  Glory is an unstable, ‘glittery’ pedestal on which to perch.  It is fleeting.   I do not need to see my reflection in the eyes of others.  I want to develop friendships that are mutual, having similar visions, travelling on similar paths.  I believe we all need connections. 


Hopefully, if I can fashion my life from this ‘Me’, there will be no need to purge regrets; there will be no hunger from ‘dieting’ in life.  The me will no longer need to bleed, because she will be transformed into Me.


This is my ‘thought’ and my ‘seed of action’.




Thistle and Weeds by Mumford and Sons



"Plant your hope with good seeds.  Don’t cover yourself with thistle and weeds.

Rain down, rain down on Me."

P.S.  "Ohio Impromptu" is a very good read!!

PEACE!

2 comments:

  1. me / Me... wow, that is just brilliant. Nico, you are more than well on your way. This project has really been your "coming out" party to the world. I am honored to have been part of it.

    To your big, beautiful, bountiful crop!

    Namaste.
    Rich

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  2. Agree life is a journey. You are not walking alone so much with blog is a wonderful modern connection.

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